Tiger Woods has one. Kermit the Frog has one. Hell, even The Clapper (remember: clap on, clap off — The Clapper!) has one. What is it — this one thing? What do they all have in common? Well, what each of these fame-trapped entities have in common is that they each have their own Wikipedia…
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There are lots of three-word sentences. We use them all the time, right? How ‘bout trying some of these on for size: I love you. Let’s get drunk. Please forgive me. Just do it. Let’s have sex. Maybe you’re right. I am pregnant. You didn’t think the above existed in the context of a single…
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His face: cherubic. His little nose: kissable. His ability to make my soul smile: infinite. And so it is with little Noah George Anter. All nine pounds of him. One month old. Sticky fingers? Fantastic. Spittle on the lower lip? Suitable for framing. Time spent just watching him watching me watching him? Yes … give…
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Most of my friends are, like me: upper middle-age, a little extra weight around the mid-section and — at least for the men — balding. Their Big Life Story involves graduating their last kid through college and thinking about how to re-decorate that now-spare bedroom into a rarely-to-be-used-again den. Good for them. But no, not me….
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“You’ve got 12 minutes.” That’s what one warning on the Hawaiian news agency stated. 12 minutes before the bomb was to hit, 12 minutes to live. What do you do? If there’s ever a statement that’d rip the cover off of life’s baseball, that one would do it. Pretty raw, right? 12 minutes. What if…
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You’re probably going to hate me after reading this, so I’ll warn you: maybe don’t go any further. Why? Because I’m going to give you something new to fret about. But, here’s the kicker: once you hear it, you’re going to agree with me. Oh, and that’ll piss you off even more since you’ll be…
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Forgive us, world, for we have sinned. Gravely. And this … this is our national confession. What’s our sin, you ask? It’s sitting in the Oval Office. Well, he himself is not actually the sin. Rather, our electing him is the sin. That’s why this is a collective ask of global forgiveness. He just happens…
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So another year’s in the books. C’est la vie, 2016, you piece of crap, you. Right? Maybe things went well for you personally; maybe they didn’t. Things sure as hell didn’t go well for, oh, about about one-third of all celebrities alive on January 1, 2016. Oh, wait, what’s that? Another one just slipped earth’s…
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I get you. I get you precisely because I am you. You and I, we’re in this vast electoral wasteland together. A barren, unknown, unwanted place. No place to call home. No voting soul. And, it sucks. We’re pissed, too, ‘cuz we’re good citizens, right? We pay our taxes. We color inside the lines. We…
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